A rich snob walks into a neighborhood bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like some thirty-year-old Scotch." The bartender searches for a while but all he can find is some eighteen-year-old Scotch. He figures the snob won't know the difference and pours a glass of it (over ice, of course).

The snob takes one sip and spits it back into the glass. He says, "Bartender, this is eighteen-year-old Scotch. I asked for thirty-year-old Scotch." The bartender searches and searches but all he can find is some twenty-four-year-old Scotch. He figures the snob can't possibilly tell the difference so he pours him some.

The snob takes one sip and spits it out all over the bar. He says, "Bartender, I specifically asked for thirty-year-old Scotch and this is clearly twenty-four-year-old Scotch. Now I am going to go to the gentlemen's room and when I come back there had bloody well better be some thirty-year-old Scotch in this glass." Off he goes to visit the facilities.

While the bartender is searching, a local drunk who has been watching the proceedings ambles over and pisses in the snob's glass. The bartender, unable to find any suitable Scotch, is just returning when the snob gets back from the men's room and takes a sip. He spits it out and then says, "Bartender, this is PISS!" From his perch on the other side of the bar, the drunk asks, "So ... how old am I?"